Right back where we started
by Chewey
Summary: Can Nick say what he is feeling? Uh...no.
1. Chapter 1

Not again….why are we here again? She looks at me with those innocent eyes and I can't breathe. She wants me to open up and say what I feel, but I can't. I just can't. And now we are back where we started…here.

_Once more…we are back at the same spot we were before. He looks me with such intensity and I know he wants to say something. It is on the tip of his tongue, but he won't do it. He doesn't even try and now we are back to where we started…once more._

She looks so sad. So…disappointed. I want to open my mouth and let all of my feelings just fall out of my mouth. Do I even know what my feelings are? Do I have any idea what I want to say? Not really. I will just mess it up so I will keep my mouth shut and let her walk away.

_That's it. I can't take it anymore. I am so tired, so …disappointed. I can't stand here any longer and watch him look at me with fear in his eyes. I need to get out of this room. It takes all of my strength and determination but I walk away…and he lets me._

And I let her go. Why? Why didn't I run to her and grab her and hold her and do all of those romantic things that grown-ups do in the movies? It's because they are in the movies and this is real life. Real life can really suck.

_Why did he let me go? Why didn't he stop me? I sit in my room and close my eyes and think of all the romantic heroes in my favorite movies. They run after the girl. They break down the door, grab the woman, and kiss her until her knees weaken. I guess it's just as well. I don't have the money for a new door._

How can I fix this? How can I make things right? I am racking my brain coming up with the right thing to do. I walk to her door right as I am about to knock, I stop myself. I still don't know what to say. So I stand there, thinking…and pacing. Pacing and thinking…and a little more standing. I am about to walk away when her door opens. She is looking at me very timidly, and I see a small, but sad, smile.

_How long will he be outside of my door? I can see his feet moving. He is psyching himself up for something. My guess is he doesn't even know what he is psyching himself up for. Should I take pity on this poor soul? Should I give him one more chance? I better. He doesn't look like he is leaving anytime soon._

We are standing face to face. I open my mouth to speak….

_"Shhhh…_"


	2. Chapter 2

"But….I, but, you said…What?"

I don't understand. She wanted me to tell her my feelings and now she wants me to be quiet. Whew…what a relief. So does this mean we get to…well, you know, without talking about it first? Is this the perfect situation or what? But, am I being fair to her? I resign myself to the answer. No.

"_I told you to be quiet."_

_What am I doing? Am I going to just give in? Do I want him so badly that I don't care about what comes next? I resign myself to the answer. Yes._

What is that look on her face? I know every expression that crosses her face. Her eyes light up when she is happy, but there isn't any light in them right now. She is stepping towards me but I need to stop this right now. Will I have the strength to stop? I grab her by the arms. I don't know if I am going to pull her into me or halt her in her tracks.

"I can't do this. I can't do this to you."

_What? Are you kidding me? I decided to throw caution to the wind and not worry about what happens tomorrow. He stopped me. More importantly, he stopped himself. I know he wants me. It is all over his face. I know every expression that crosses his face and this one is definitely a look of desire and a little bit of…is that guilt?_

"_I appreciate your chivalry, but now is not the time to-"_

"Yes it is. It is the time."

I gather up in my arms and pull her into me. She smells so good. I kiss her on her forehead and just hold her. I am trying to get the courage to say...something. Anything... Nothing. I say nothing. I feel her pulling away from me.

_It is wonderful being in his arms. I thought for a brief second that he finally is going to tell me how he feels. It doesn't need to be a declaration of love. It just has to be something. Anything…. Nothing. I get nothing. My head droops. My shoulders sag. I need to go to bed. I need to be alone._

"I LOVE THE WAY YOU SING ABOUT EVERYTHING!" I needed to do something and do something quick. That was the first think that popped out of my mouth.

She turns and looks at me.

"_Yeah?" Well, that's a start._

"I love the way you dance." Where did that come from? The light in her eyes is a little bit brighter so I must be saying something right. Think, think. What else!

"_Really?" This is starting to get interesting. Doesn't he cringe when I dance? He must be blurting everything out without even thinking. At least it is something. At least he is talking. _

Hmm…maybe I can do this. Maybe it isn't as hard as I thought.

"I love the way you brush your teeth." Was that weird? It sounded a little weird. She must like it. She is smiling now. I guess she is showing off those pearly whites.

"_Oh do you?" Well that was…okay. Not too weird, Wellll..okay it was a little bit- who am I kidding? It was a lot weird. Oh no! I am going to laugh. If I start laughing that will be it. I smile as big as I can to try and play it off._

"I love that you need me to help you." That didn't sound right. I definitely don't think that is what I wanted to say. Oh, man. I blew it. She is looking at me funny. Those pearly whites have disappeared. I need to say something else quick.

"…and how you always are there to help me." Whew. I think that worked. Her eyebrows aren't furrowed anymore. Her features have softened. Oh, thank heavens.

"_Nice save." I had to say it. He can't get away with that. His expression is changing. He is digging deep for the final blow. The one line that will send me over the edge and into his arms. Can he do it? Can he sweep me off my feet with just his words?_

Oh boy. What am I going to say now? I am digging in deep and thinking about all of the chick flicks she made me watch with her. There was one line that stood out for me. Not because I thought it was romantic. Romance? Yeah…no thanks. The play on words was cool. Wait a second. I almost got it…Yes!

"You're everything I never knew I always wanted."

_That was it. He did it. I am officially swept. I can't stand it. I wrap my arms around him and hug him as tight as I can. _

"_I love you too."_

Oh yeah! Who's the man? Uh...Me


End file.
